MORDHAU How Complete Campaign Guide

Part 1: Install the Game

 
This part is rather simple, if you have gotten this far, good work. This is as far as most people should actually get before they realize they shouldn’t actually do what I am telling them to. 
 
To install the game, send the devs your hard earned bank notes of your choice, the devs are multinational and will likely wipe their cracks with american dollars, so I recommend sending them euro to appease them and perhaps send you a free patchie (lucky mf if you get a patchie at all). 
 
After they receive your money they require your IP so they can add you to their blacklist, in the event you become actually good at the game they will personally ban you, this is so you are forced to make a new account to pay them again for another copy of the game, because they do not allow this game to be shared across family share or any other account sharing. 
 
After they blacklist you, they send you a link to the steam store page where you can purchase the actual game files for your computer, and then it will install like any other game. 
 
 

Part 2: Launching the game

 
IMPORTANT NOTICE: POINT OF NO RETURN 
 
To launch the game is to never return to the real world again. You will not have time to complete day to day tasks because you will be busy completing missions in the singleplayer campaigns. 
 
If you press the big green play button and launch the game it injects visual malware into your neural interface and hack your brain, rewiring you to the Mordhau devs’ basement servers. From there you wake up with this weird idiot called “The Instructor” in the Tutorial part of the game, which can be skipped if you wish, it is in fact quite hard to complete the tutorial since “The Instructor” takes no damage and therefore cannot die. <– DEVS PLEASE FIX THIS! How are we supposed to complete the tutorial if we can’t kill the only target in the tutorial? 
 
That is correct, this game is all about killing. You can literally pick up rocks from the floor and kill people with them if you wish, the devs add new and more interesting combat mechanics with every patch and sometimes grace the players with extra weapons for their arsenal, while fixing animations that look ugly, such as the new flourish animation added in Patch 21, perhaps the worst animation mistake in gaming history, and it was made by an “Indie” dev team. Truly making gaming history guys, keep up the good work! 
 
 

Part 3: Main Menu

 
As I myself have completed the campaign, let me share with you how to access the campaigns for the game, there is a large button that will say “FIGHT” in the top middle of your screen after the game has taken five weeks to load on a completely empty SSD. 
 
After you press the FIGHT button, it will display two options in big panels: Quick Play and Ranked. The difference between them is Ranked has duels and 3v3 team fights. It also has a leaderboard showing you all the top 100 most toxic and cheesiest players in the game, alongside the not so toxic and not so cheesy chads. You won’t know which person is which until after dueling them, unless you know one is a YouTuber, one in particular who loves warhammer and buckler strat. 
 
If you wish to complete the campaign, neither of these options will interest you unless you want to practice in the Ranked modes, where you will figure out how bad the game is, and contemplate why you ignored my warning in Part 2 telling you it was a point of no return. You should have uninstalled the game instead, launching it has sent you down a path you are not ready, and never will be ready, to take on. 
 
To access the campaigns, just below your FIGHT button is a list of extra tabs, this is where you can access the tutorial via TRAINING, or you can create your own fantasy campaign in LOCAL MATCH, or the tab it currently views without input, displaying Quick Play and Ranked options, or the actual campaign tab, SERVER BROWSER. To access the campaigns, choose SERVER BROWSER. 
 
 

Part 4: Choosing a Campaign

 
Here in the SERVER BROWSER, you can choose the game mode, tick and untick special boxes which dictate which campaigns you want to play, and choose which ping you want to test them on. For specific campaigns you may also search up their name, and below all of that it allows you to pay the devs to create your own campaign. 
 
The most optimal campaigns are under the DEATHMATCH game mode and have the HAS PLAYERS and NO PASSWORD ticked while the IS MODDED and NOT FULL are unticked. To ensure the SERVER BROWSER is in fact working, you want to set max ping to 10,000,000 so in the event you are being DDOSed (common occurrence) you will still see every single server in the world for as long as you have the correct stuff ticked. For the optimal route through the campaign, whichever one you choose, I recommend creating a class with the foppish voice and the highest pitch on the voice, having no armor and only the rat perk and a maul. This is optimal because you can respawn no matter how fast you die, and fast movement allows for better chances of evading attacks from the bots when you load into a campaign. 
 
Choose whichever campaign there is unless it has a TRITERNION logo next to it, this means it is owned by the devs and they will ban you if you join their private not-so-private servers. Remember: You are blacklisted. 
 
 

Part 5: Completing the Campaign

 
This next step is simpler than it seems, you may have just bought the game, but little did you know every single player who owns this game and still has it installed actually sucks at the game. So now loaded in and spawned with your nak*d maul rat class, the next step is to make sure you know how to attack and kill the bots. Walk up to one of the bots, look down at their feet, and press cc2 before left clicking, pressing q, then left clicking again. This should cause the AI to react with a parry as it panics, believing the original left click to be a real attack, but q is actually the button to feint, the second left click is so you do an attack fast enough where they cannot parry in time to defend against it. If you did this properly, their head should explode and they will begin to act aggressively. 
 
Continue to run around, hitting the bots in the head with your maul, eventually you will have enough kills to win the mission as most missions have a target of about 50 kills, the only fail condition is if a bot reaches 50 kills before you. Some bots claim to be real people and admins, and they will trash talk you, target you, and they will threaten to ban you. The devs are in fact genius programmers and created perfect AI to mimic what people who play this game would be like if it were multiplayer. 
 
If you get a pop up off to the right side of your screen, a big box saying your name with page up or page down, open chat by pressing y then type “pg down I am new” and the bots will cease being hostile as they set their AI to passive. If you are removed from the server from this box, it will only mean not being able to access that mission for another 15 minutes. Some of the bots which claim to be admins are advanced AI which know how to make use of the console command “ParryThis” where a gun spawns in their inventory and they can and will shoot you, they have bad aim, so don’t worry. If at some point in time a developer of the game decides to check up on you in their basement server pool after a while, and they catch you winning missions and completing campaigns they will ban you from that campaign and you will have to restart on a different campaign. Eventually after a while you will not be able to play any campaigns because you should have uninstalled when you had the chance, and by now having no access to the campaigns and still wanting to complete them you will resort back to the first step, but with a separate, new account. <– This happens to many of the top players such as Smoke or Pug on a Rug, two players who continuously completed the campaigns of the game, and have actively created alt accounts to dodge bans. If you reach this point, you have mastered Mordhau and are ready for the secret Multiplayer. 
 

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